The Flock
Pigeons were always suspicious. This one has a face, and the face is trying very hard.
The Flock sits on every wire in the city, at even spacing, heads turned toward whatever is happening. They are not eating. They have never been observed eating. They have been observed facing, which is a different activity and appears to be the whole job.
One of them is different. It has a human face, and the face is doing an impression of relaxation that it has clearly practised in a mirror it also owns.
> SUBJECT DID NOT LOOK AWAY
> SUBJECT IS STILL LOOKING
Fleet size
Not published. Counting the flock would require the flock to hold still, and it does, which makes the refusal interesting.
Range
Wherever there is a wire, a ledge or an open window. Especially the window.
Camera Eyes
Two lenses, mounted where eyes go, in a housing that is nearly the right shape.
Aperture
Open. It has been open since manufacture. Closing it is a firmware feature that shipped disabled.
Blinking
Simulated, occasionally, at intervals chosen by somebody who has read about blinking.
Eye contact
Held. And held. And held. Long past the point where a person would have looked at their shoes.
The little light
Red. Always on. Documented as a design accent, in a footnote, in a document nobody opened.
The Feed
Everything it sees goes somewhere. The somewhere has never been named on a slide.
Ask what it records and you get a diagram. Ask where the recording goes and you get a longer diagram. Ask who watches the recording and the bird tilts its head at exactly fifteen degrees, which internal documents refer to as the reassuring tilt.
Pigeons used to be paid in breadcrumbs. This one is paid in the breadcrumbs, which is the same word doing two very different jobs.
Retention
Indefinite, described as temporary, in a sentence built to survive being read aloud in a hearing.
Deletion
Available. The button exists. The button has been independently confirmed to exist.
Terms of Service
Agreed to by standing near the wire. Length: not disclosed. Revisions: continuous.
Clause one
By being visible, you consent to being visible. This was always true; now it is written down.
Clause two
The bird may perch. The bird may continue to perch. Perching does not constitute surveillance, per clause four.
Clause three
You may opt out at any time by going indoors, closing the curtains and remaining there.
Clause four
Clause four defines surveillance. Clause four is not included in this summary.
Token Status
$ZUCKBIRD has not launched. There is no contract address, no pool and no market. Every line above reads unavailable because nothing has been measured — not because a number is still loading. The bird records everything; this page records nothing about you. It is a single static file with no analytics, no trackers, no cookies and no outbound requests, and the joke only works if that stays true. If anyone shows you a $ZUCKBIRD contract address today, it is not ours and it is not real. When the token exists, the address will be published here first, and the buttons on this page will go live at the same moment.
The Network
The community does not exist yet either. Recorded here, once, accurately.
There is no X account, no group, no channel and no moderator. Anything currently claiming to be the official Zuckerbird flock was not made by us. The single source of truth is this page, until this page says otherwise.
When the account opens, the button below stops being a dead chip and starts being a link. Nothing else about it changes.
What exists
The brand, the art direction, and this page. That is the complete list.
What does not
Domain, X account, Pump.fun listing, token, contract, holders, price.
Field files
Origin log, sighting reports and a glossary live in The Dossier, if the six sections above were not enough surveillance for one sitting.
Join the flock when it opens
Brand hook, then token status, then the community, then the buy path — in that order, and not one step before it is real.
$ZUCKBIRD is pre-launch. Both actions below are prepared and stay inactive until the official account and coin exist.
Follow on X — not open yet Buy on Pump.fun — not live yet